i dont want a solution i want to be mad

2 min read 18-12-2024

I Don't Want a Solution, I Want to Be Mad: Validating Your Anger

We live in a culture obsessed with fixing things. A problem arises, and immediately, the focus shifts to solutions. But sometimes, what we need isn't a solution; it's permission to feel. Specifically, permission to be mad.

This article isn't about problem-solving. It's about acknowledging and validating the raw, unadulterated anger that sometimes boils within us. It's about creating space for that anger, without the pressure to immediately dissipate it.

Why We Suppress Anger

Society often teaches us to suppress our anger. We're told to "calm down," "be rational," or "take a deep breath." These well-intentioned suggestions often invalidate our feelings. They imply that our anger is irrational, inappropriate, or even shameful.

But anger, like any emotion, is a valid human experience. It's a signal. It's telling us something is wrong, something needs addressing, or a boundary has been crossed. Ignoring it only allows it to fester.

The Danger of Bottling Up Anger

Suppressing anger isn't healthy. Bottling it up can lead to:

Physical health problems: Chronic anger can contribute to high blood pressure, heart disease, and other ailments.
Mental health issues: Suppressed anger can manifest as anxiety, depression, or even aggression.
Damaged relationships: Unresolved anger can strain relationships, creating distance and resentment.

It's crucial to understand that feeling angry doesn't make you a bad person. It simply means you're human.

Giving Yourself Permission to Be Mad

So, what can you do when you feel that familiar surge of anger, and all you want is to feel it, not fix it?

Acknowledge your anger: Don't fight it. Don't try to reason it away. Simply recognize that you're angry. Name the emotion. Say it out loud: "I am angry."
Identify the source: Try to pinpoint what triggered your anger. This doesn't necessarily mean you need to solve the problem. Simply understanding the source can be validating.
Allow yourself to feel it: Find a healthy outlet for your anger. This could be anything from going for a run to journaling to listening to angry music. The key is to allow yourself to experience the emotion fully, without judgment.
Set boundaries: If your anger stems from a specific situation or person, consider setting boundaries to protect yourself from further triggering events.

This isn't about wallowing in anger indefinitely. It's about acknowledging its presence, honoring its validity, and giving yourself the space to process it at your own pace. Sometimes, just feeling the anger is enough to begin the healing process.

When Professional Help Is Needed

While allowing yourself to feel anger is healthy, prolonged or overwhelming anger might indicate a need for professional help. If you're struggling to manage your anger, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They can provide support and guidance in developing healthy coping mechanisms. This isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of self-awareness and a commitment to your well-being.

Remember, it's okay to be mad. You don't always need a solution. Sometimes, the most important thing is to simply feel. And to validate that feeling.

i dont want a solution i want to be mad