i don't want solutions i want to be mad

Direms

2 min read

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19-12-2024

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I Don't Want Solutions, I Want to Be Mad: Validating Your Anger

We're constantly bombarded with positivity. "Think positive!" "Look on the bright side!" But sometimes, the last thing you want is a solution. Sometimes, you just want to feel your anger, to acknowledge its validity without immediately jumping to fixing it. This isn't about wallowing; it's about permission. Permission to be mad.

The Pressure to "Fix" Feelings

Society often pressures us to suppress negative emotions. Anger, in particular, is frequently viewed as a problem to be solved, a weakness to overcome. We're told to "calm down," "count to ten," or "think rationally." While these techniques can be helpful in certain situations, they often invalidate the experience of feeling angry. They silence a valid emotional response.

Why It's Okay (and Sometimes Necessary) to Be Mad

Anger, like any emotion, serves a purpose. It signals that something is wrong, that a boundary has been crossed, or that a need isn't being met. Suppressing this signal can lead to resentment, burnout, and ultimately, more significant problems down the line. Allowing yourself to feel the anger, even without immediately seeking a solution, can be a crucial step in processing it healthily.

Recognizing the Stages of Anger

Understanding the stages of anger can be helpful in navigating this complex emotion. These stages aren't linear, and you may cycle through them repeatedly.

• Trigger: Something happens that sparks your anger. This could be a major event or a seemingly insignificant detail.
• Rising Tension: You start to feel the anger building. Your body might tense up, your heart rate might increase.
• Outburst (or Suppression): This is where your anger manifests. It could be a controlled expression of your feelings or a suppressed simmering rage.
• Resolution (or Aftermath): This is when the anger subsides, either through processing or simply wearing off. There might be residual effects, such as fatigue or sadness.

How to Allow Yourself to Be Mad (Without Hurting Others)

Feeling anger doesn't mean you have to act on it destructively. There are healthy ways to process your anger without harming yourself or others.

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: Simply saying "I am angry" can be a powerful act of validation.
• Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process your anger in a safe and private space.
• Physical Activity: Exercise can help release pent-up energy and tension.
• Creative Expression: Art, music, or writing can be powerful outlets for expressing difficult emotions.
• Mindfulness: Focusing on your breath and bodily sensations can help you ground yourself and manage intense emotions.
• Talk to a Trusted Person: Sometimes, talking to a friend, family member, or therapist can provide support and perspective. Remember, this isn't about getting solutions, it's about sharing your experience.

The Importance of Self-Compassion

Being angry doesn't make you a bad person. It's a normal human emotion. Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend experiencing similar feelings. Allow yourself space to feel, to process, and to eventually move forward.

Conclusion: The Power of Unresolved Anger (Temporarily)

It’s okay to not want solutions immediately. Sometimes, the simple act of acknowledging and validating your anger is the most powerful step you can take. This isn't about dwelling in negativity; it’s about honoring your feelings and giving yourself the space to fully process them before moving towards resolution. Remember, feeling your anger doesn't diminish you; it empowers you. You deserve to feel your feelings, even the messy ones.